No one shut me down back home. There were still consequences.

[He knows exactly what didn't get said there, and some part of him resents it. Damn it, this isn't what he needs right now.

But that's on him for going to Van for help, and really, who else could he trust at all with this? The only other person he's got any kind of rapport with seems to agree completely with his assessment of Anders and, ergo, is prone to the same biases and blind spots he'd have. But traveling to the far opposite end of the spectrum to get a contrasting view only lands him with a lapful of different biases and blind spots he's got to sort through.

To say nothing of Vandelin's propensity to jump on every opportunity presented to remind Myr of his own failures of knowledge. Which see.

All the emotion drains out of his tone.] You told me.

I hadn't planned to do otherwise. [It's good advice and he has no doubt it's kindly meant, but for the embedded lacerating barb.] I'm glad of what I had, Van. Even if it was unique.

[And now it's gone, and he can't have it back, and there's something out there in the Fade that despises him for even dreaming about it, and--

He swallows, hard.]

Thanks. Think I've got what I need, now.