Probably for the best that I'm not anymore. [Hard to wake, that is. It's light, with the cadence of a joke, and he doesn't know where he'd go with the joke anyway, so he moves on and breezes past the rest of that too. He doesn't mind being woken, not really--not when he doesn't think Myr would be calling about something inconsequential, even drunk.

He laughs at the garum story, quiet but genuine, and if only he weren't waiting for the shoe to drop, he would have something teasing to say about it--

--but there it is. The smile fades from his face without a moment's pause, and he leans on the doorjamb of the living room with faintly clenched fingers as he lets the brief ache in his chest subside. He doesn't need to think about the answer. (Not anymore. Not like he used to.)]

Of course you don't deserve it. I never meant for--

[The question isn't about him. He swallows.]

It should never have happened to you. None of it should ever have happened to you.